Don't be jealous, Sasha.

The boat tour sucked.

Okay, maybe that was harsh.

No, it wasn't. Even for the new people who are bright eyed and bushy tailed and not at all nostalgic for the summer, it sucked. I know, they told me later.

See, it wasn't a boat party this time. It was just a tour. For two hours, in the cold. There was no delicious Stolle perog, there was no champagne, in fact, it was not allowed to have alcohol because it was a "real excursion" and Bryan said he could technically kick me out of the program if we had innocently tried to pop a bottle of champagne into the Neva and toast to our fallen comrades. Everyone sat in awkward rows out on the deck like we were in class and listened to this very dull guide drone on and on and on in Russian that no one except for the two heritage speakers really understood.

What made it worse though is we left from the same docking place, did the same exact route, were on the same exact boat with the same exact crew (though the guy with the awesome Western America themed sweater was not with us tonight).... and all my favorite people were no longer with me. I was with a bunch of people I just met two days ago who I don't know yet and who are all probably going to bond better with each other than with me because they are going through the whole adjusting-figuring-out-getting-"slapped-in-the-face" thing together.... while I already did that with people who are now back in the U.S. being college kids again.

I mean, it wasn't as bad as I am making it sound, but it was just kind of sad. Not fun. I was also just bored out of my mind. And after it all I hung out with a couple of them briefly and that was better. But we were in Fidel, good old Fidel, our faithful bar of the whole summer, and there was no Sasha or Adams or Philipp. How strange.

Well, whatever. Enough whining. I still feel good about the fall, it's just going to be really different I think. That's all.

What was nice though was coming back to my apartment after it and finding Katya and Stas hanging out and watching TV and making macaroni with their friend Ben who we've been hanging out with recently -- Ben is American, studied in Canada, is now here on a Fulbright, and knows Erin Doherty -- and we talked about weird things that celebrities name their poor children. So it was better in the way that I could feel like I have my own life already established and other people who are becoming better friends. That was comforting.

Tomorrow..... Russian language placement tests! Great!