And, once again, alive in St. Petersburg.

It took over thirty hours of traveling to get back to here due to a layover in Moscow in the very early hours of this morning (I can now accurately say that I spent parts of both Christmas 2008 and New Year's 2008 in both Moscow and St. Petersburg), but I am back in St. Petersburg just in time to celebrate New Year's in Russian style.

This holiday is definitely more like Christmas for us, as I came back to my warm, clean room to find a miniature New Year's tree (evergreen branches in a vase decorated with tinsel and ornaments) in my room on the desk with a bar of chocolate underneath. Our apartment is yellow and orange and cozy and the TV has a program of Russian singer/actor types singing famous old Russian songs (already heard "Помоги мне" from Бриллиантовая рука) dressed up in their New Year's gowns and I gave the family their presents and Olga seems to really like the album I put together of photos from my past seven months of living with them and it makes me glad to be back and home for the holiday. It's funny, for how crazy and hectic and exhausting this city is and how much I am looking forward to my upcoming break and time away from it, stepping out of Moscovskii Vokzal and into the city was such a relief after traveling so much. It was comforting to know how to get home without even having to think about it. And the sky was dark but clear and a finger nail clipping sliver of the moon was hanging up above the train station with one bright star next to it. Or maybe it was a planet. It was beautiful whatever it was.

I'm quite happy to be back. Not that Kiev wasn't great -- Kiev was wonderful, the hostel was amazing, we actually came so, so, so close to spontaneously changing our plans to stay in Ukraine for the holiday because we were having such a good time -- but I am glad to be back here as I planned. Plus, there appears to be ominous, upcoming conflict between Russia and Ukraine. Before we left, Katy's dad had told us he'd heard Russia decided to cut off Ukraine's gas supply after the New Year. In Kiev we didn't hear much about the situation, but when we did we heard the same thing -- Russia had decided to cut them off. Now back here tonight, hearing Olga's perspective and watching a very serious and somber news release of Medvedev and Putin speaking about the problem (with a very not-serious, goofy, and quite happy New Year's tree blinking away behind Medvedev's head throughout the whole thing) -- it appears that the story here is that Ukraine wanted gas for free or for even cheaper and decided to reject Russia's gas supply and use Europe's instead. Who to believe? I'll never know. Anyway, Misha said it's good we came back when we did. He thinks there is going to be a war between the two countries. Doesn't that make you thrilled, Mom? How is it that whenever I travel outside of Russia in the former Soviet Union conflict arises? First Georgia, now Ukraine.... well, the point is, I'm back. And that's good. And I'm glad I got to see Kiev while I could.

Anyway, you'll hear about Kiev soon enough. I'm off to гулять around the city with everyone and photograph the lights and join in the general merriment. I have a feeling this night is going to be like the winter version of Alye Paruca. I'll let you know how New Year's goes this year.

Think of me at 4:00PM EST when it will already be 2009 in St. Petersburg! I'll think of you guys at 8:00AM tomorrow here!

Happy New Year!!! love, e.b.

ALIVE IN KIEV.

After twenty-four hours of travel, exactly, 1pm on Christmas day until 1pm today when we arrived at our amazing hostel run by these great and helpful British guys.

I like Kiev already. A woman actually went out of her way to help us find the street we were looking for earlier today. Crazy.

Anyway, just an update to say I'm alive.

Merry (weird) Christmas.

Under the category "ways I never though I would spend Christmas," sitting in Kofe Hauz at 5:00AM waiting for the metro to open with Emma, Carrie, Maneka and Zach is definitely on the top of that list.

We didn't quite plan on staying out all night... just saying good bye to everyone on the bus to the airport and then returning home.... but it got later and later.... and then we thought we'd just stay with Yulia and everyone at the airport until everyone went through check in.... and then all our stuff was still on the bus anyway, so we had to wait for that.... and then it was four in the morning and we were dropped off back in the center of the city with the hopes of some 10 ruble McDoland's ice cream but the closest one doesn't open until 7:00am. So we sat in a good old 24 hour Kofe Hauz -- what else are they good for as their coffee is a billion dollars -- and waited until the metro opened and generally bonded over having the weirdest Christmas to date. In fact, the whole evening was just so insanely bizarre that I wasn't even that sad getting left behind by everyone for the third time now. At least the next time I go to that airport on a bus with a group of people leaving, I will also be getting on the flight with everyone, so it won't quite have that abandoned feel that I've gotten so used to.

And so, this is the strangest Christmas of my life, as in six hours I need to be boarding a train to Moscow, and then I will be spending Christmas evening on an overnight train to Kiev. If you had told me even just last year that this is how I would spend December 25th, 2008, I never would have believed it. This is just all so crazy.

But still, merry christmas to everyone at home.

I miss you, I love you, I can't wait to see you in January if possible.

Enjoy this photograph of Putin I found on the internet:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Щелкунчик at the Mikhailovsky Theatre.

So, while I am aware that today is the 24th of December and technically Christmas Eve, I keep forgetting this fact as "Catholic Christmas" (as the 25th of December is called here) is a complete non-holiday and so tomorrow just feels like Thursday, just the day when I'm leaving for Kiev, nothing exciting. I really haven't been in a Christmasy mood at all. Yeah, I've been shopping for gifts for everyone, but it just feels more like general souvenir shopping, not for any holiday occasion. I don't know, everyone talks about how this time of year is the hardest time of studying abroad because that's when you really start to miss your family and feel lonely.... but personally, as I can't even remember that it is Christmas right now, I don't feel all that sad for missing it at home. I'll also be busy in Kiev.
But despite all this, I finally remembered it was Christmastime after seeing The Nutcracker at the Mikhailovsky Theatre last night with what seemed like nearly all of the girls on my program -- me, Liza, Ilana, Emma, Claire, Carrie, Emily, Katy L, Danielle, Amy & Laura. Ilana had warned me in advance that the Russian version of the Nutcracker is different from the version most Americans know and love -- sometimes the choreography involves sacrificing a lamb in the middle of the second act -- and there were things about last night's performance that were different. For example, if anyone knows the Boston Ballet's version of the Nutcracker, you are sure to remember the dance with the huge woman (usually played by a man) and all the little children that come running out from underneath her skirt. Instead of this, two dolls danced to that song. Also, the main girl is named "Masha" or "Maria" in the Russian version not.... Clara. Not really sure how that whole Clara business came about in general. [oh, wait, according to wikipedia: "The story has been published in many book versions including colorful children-friendly versions. The plot revolves around a German girl named Clara Stahlbaum or Clara Silverhaus. In some Nutcracker productions, Clara is called Marie. (In Hoffmann's tale, the girl's name actually is Marie or Maria, while Clara - or "Klärchen" - is the name of one of her dolls.)"] And also the Russian dance at the ball involved a may pole that looked like it was going to fall down the whole time as the dancers did not seem all that comfortable dancing with it. But but but but BUT it was so beautiful. So beautiful. All the costuming and scenery was so classic, and the leads were all really strong -- especially the dancers who played dolls. The guy who played the Nutcracker doll had unbelievable limbs -- he kept his legs bowed in this way that really was so dollish and unnatural, I have no idea how he danced like that. And the music made me so happy and content and finally feel like it is kind of Christmas, in a way. It gave me that nice, calm, goodwill to everyone, peaceful Christmas-feeling I usually get this time of year, but totally missed as I've been writing papers and thinking ahead to New Year's and January instead. Anyway, I am really glad I went and I thoroughly enjoyed myself and it put me in a good mood.

And you know what else put me in a good mood? Oh, yes, finishing my paper for Jonathan Platt. YES. DONE. HA.

So close, so close, so close, so close....

Yesterday was Monday? Weird. It felt like Thursday or something.

I'm done with my film class now too. AHhhhhhhhh yes. All that is left is a paper for Jonathan which I am working on now which is going to be done done done done done soon soon soon soon soon soon and then I am free free free freeeeeee until Februaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Last night we had the final banquet. This involved enough Chinese food for 40 people (even though there were only 30 of us) and me sitting next to Emma and us sending creepy text messages to everyone around the table and watching their reactions from afar. I ate so much -- and it was actually really good Chinese food for Russia, I was surprised -- that I still feel a little ill this morning.... hours and hours later.... It was a good final hurrah though. It still seems weird to me though that the semester is over. I don't know why, but the 8 week summer program at times still feels like it was much, much longer than this semester has been. Maybe it's because I saw less of the group this semester, and we all kind of did our own thing or something, I'm not really sure.... it's just really strange that it's already over and new people will be coming in a month....

Okay, I'm going back to work on my paper. I'm trying to finish it before I go see The Nutcracker tonight with a bunch of girls (Ilana's last trip to the ballet while in Russia! ahh!).

The results of the выставка and other things I have been up to since Wednesday.

So, I know I left you all hanging. Sorry about that. I've been busy! But you'll be pleased to know that the result of the cliffhanger of the last entry was successful.

My art opening ("выставка") went really well. So much better than I thought. I left my last film class a little early to set up and add some Christmas lights to the mix (I could not find simple strands of solid, white Christmas lights anywhere, so I thought I purchased solid, white icicle lights... but turns out they blink a little bit.... it seems to be a rule that any and all Christmas lights and New Year's decorations in this country have to flash and/or be as loud and/or tacky as possible. Oh well. The effect still worked). Ilana also ran out for a little wine & champagne & crackers and I contributed my candy from the "awards lunch" which had been earlier that day (the awards lunch is the final lunch to say good bye to the RSL teachers.... and Elena, Yulia & Bryan give out "awards" to all the students who are leaving, and candy to the returning students) and then we waited. And I was genuinely surprised by how many people came by. Ilana, Carrie, Liza, Marianna, Heather, Lauren, Emma, Matt, Bryan..... and the show actually is in a good location, a strange but good location, because it picked up a lot of strays who were just wandering through on their way to or from the library.

It was still unbelievably bizarre to have all these people standing around looking at 184 photos of myself though. Really bizarre. So I mostly hung towards the door and chose music from Ilana's computer to play and drank wine while taking photos of people looking at my photos. People noticed some things though that I had overlooked and were just really observant in general about small details, I was impressed. There were also a lot of comments about how the photos together looked really good, like a kaleidoscope or something. John Nelson suggested I change the name of the show to "Unquestionably E.B." Ha. And I had an idea that when I show the final year at the end of the spring semester (Marianna said she thinks it is going to look really cool with the first six months having one look from one apartment and the second six having a different look in a different apartment), I am going to make scavenger hunt sheets like Where's Waldo? or I Spy and people can go through and hunt for certain things such as: find 4 umbrellas, find 6 Ami Lis, find 1 Russian flag, etc. It'll make it maybe a little more interactive of a show.

Some interesting things I learned about the project from showing it though. These were the top five questions that I was asked throughout the evening:
1. Do you take the photos at the same time every day?
2. Do you use the same camera to take all of the photos?
3. Do you always take the photos at home?
4. Are you going to keep taking the photos when at home in January?
5. You really haven't forgotten a day?

Well, here are the answers for you:
1. No. Sometimes they're before I leave in the morning, sometimes after I come home late at night, sometimes when I happen to be at home in the afternoon between things.
2. Yes. My Nikon D80 digital SLR. I even use the same exact settings.
3. When possible, yes. If I am away from home for more than one night traveling, then I take them sitting on whereever I am sleeping, trying to recreate the same frame as much as possible.
4. Yes. Originally I wasn't sure, but it is a full 365 days.... it would be weird to have a two week vacation in there. Plus, my friend Liza said these photos came be for her, all worried about "how far away" I'll be in the US, just like how the photos were originally for my mom, worried about "how far away" I am in Russia.
5. Not yet.

Also, if you are interested, here is my artist statement that I hung up on the wall:


artist statement:
My mother is a nervous lady, and when I decided to live in Russia for a year, she was not very pleased with the idea.
“How will I know you’re still alive?!?” she asked me.
So, as a joke, I said I would photograph myself every day the whole time I would be there, and then put the photos on my website for her.
And then I thought why not? and actually began the project. Then it became more than a joke.
While certainly a satire of my life sometimes, it is also a study of how I am changing every day during this year.
Just look at how much longer my hair is!
-- Elizabeth “E.B.” Andersen Bartels

The project continues:
www.pbase.com/theeeebster/self_portrait_project


заявление художника:
Моя мама очень нервная женщина, и когда, я решила жить в России один год, ей не очень понравилась идея.
«Как я буду знать, что ты ещё живая?!?» она сросила меня.
Поэтому, шутки ради, я сказала, что буду фотографировать себя, каждый день все время моего пребывания в России, а потом помещу фотографии на моем сайте для неё.
А потом, я подумала, почему нет? и на самом деле начала проект. Теперь он перерос в нечто большее, чем просто шутка.
Конечно это в некотором роде сатира на мою жизнь, этот также исследование того, как я изменяюсь каждый день в этом году.
Просто посмотрите какими длинными стали мои волосы!
-- Элизабет «Иби» Андерсен Бартелс

Проект продолжается:
www.pbase.com/theeeebster/self_portrait_project



And, finally, people's favorites? Well, everyone loves the one in Helsinki, 8/11/08, I think because it is simply the best lit and the color of that wall in that hostel is gorgeous. It's too bad I couldn't do my entire project in that room.

Over all, I'm really pleased with how the show came out. It forced me to make a final product out of one of my many ongoing projects -- something I rarely get my act together to do unless I am getting a grade in an art class -- and it made me really think about the whole project. So that was really good.

And then on Friday, in our final Bakhtin class, I presented my project and discussed it in terms of Bakhtin and how he would view it, and while at first I thought this is going to be super dumb and pointless, we actually had a really good, helpful and interesting conversation about aspects of my project. We talked about how I incorporated text with the photos (for the show, I actually wrote the dates on the photos themselves, on the top usually, to the left side usually, in Sharpie, and then any comments that are usually found below the photos on the site were written on the photos themselves, sometimes with arrows pointng out the guests or certain items/props in the photographs) and what this meant, and if it was too much or too little or helpful or distracting. We talked about that famous Roland Barthes book about photography, Camera Lucida, and the "look" of who I am addressing in the photographs and who I am imagining I am looking at when I take each picture. We talked about whether this project was creating "violence" on my life, and the journal-ness of the idea, and how the project will be different when I present it when the 365 days are over and complete, and if maybe the show is more effective when it is in the process of happening, but that could really only happen right here, in Russia, right now, in the middle of the year. It was a good talk, and I have to summarize it for my final paper, which actually might be kind of enjoyable.

So, that took up the end of my week pretty solidly. As for my weekend, it was also busy as hell, but in a different way. I spent a lot of time hanging out with people who are leaving soon such as Cathy (already gone) and Bryan (leaving tomorrow). There was a little outing to The Other Side, the expat bar, where I ran into Meri's friend from Georgetown, Tim. There was an intense game of Rook, which Emma and I won because we can now communicate telepathically. Our last printmaking class was also last-minute canceled, so on Saturday I finished my Christmas shopping (heyyooooo!) and had perhaps THE most successful day ever at Udelnaya yesterday with Emma, Pinski and Will. I can't list all of the amazing old shitty treasures I found as some of them are Christmas presents (you lucky dogs you), but it was amazing. I came in with a little list and came out with everything on it that I had been intending to find. What the hell. Udelnaya isn't Stop & Shop. What is going on here?

This is a very short week that is starting today -- only three days long really -- full of one film class exam and one paper about Bakhtin and art, but also one last excursion to the ballet, our final dinner, and then sending off the first batch of people from the group who are flying out on Thursday. And then, I'm off for six days of traveling with Emma and Katy, which I am quited excited about as by the time we leave, I should be done, done, done, done, DONE, with all of my nonsense. Thank god. Then I'll come back and just have to focus on moving my shit over to the apartment and trying to run into Wellesley girls in some Russian city or another.

So, that's the written update. But also so many photo updates for you!

Finally two homemade darkroom prints in the film section, starting here.... a random roll of black & white I shot with my Nikon SLR after it snowed for the first time.... self portraits since December 14th, including my play with infinity..... and a shitload of new digital photos including highlights such as saying good bye to Vanessa, my birthday, a rowdy game of Clue and my 365 days show opening....

WHEW.

Все готово?

After going through two rolls of tape and spending four and a half hours in the Bobrinsky Palace, I think my show is ready.

"Show" = large grid of photos in an hallway-room full of unused mailboxes. A sneak-peak e.b. in p.b. blog exclusive preview:


Ohhhhh god. It's going to be strange having people stand around and just look at me 184 photos of me being a goof in my room every day. At least when they're on the internet I don't have to stand there and see people's reactions. Why did I agree to this ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhh and it goes down to the right a little even though I used a level ahhhhh ahhhh wish me luck.

21 in Russia.

So, I had pretty low expectations for this birthday. Not that I wasn't looking forward to it, but I just wasn't expecting much. Come on, turning 21 in a country where the drinking age was described to me last summer in Siberia as "when you can see over the counter"? What else is exciting about 21? Notttthing.

But you know what, I was pleasantly surprised. Really surprised. I had such a good time.

Basically, I reenacted what I did all summer yesterday..... after taking my exam, I went to the photo store to pick up prints, ate lunch at Stolle with Emma, and then went out to Fidel with my friends. Simple, but exactly what I wanted.

Here's the great thing though..... so I sent out an email to the group saying I'd be holding "office hours" in Fidel last night, and anyone or everyone was free to stop by if they'd like. But being in the middle of exam week, a lot of people didn't make it. In fact, only two Americans from the program made it: the one Ms. Ilana Tabby, of course, and the unbelievable, infallible Ms. Carolyn Clark. And the only other American to drop by was Will. Everyone else was Russian, and I was kind of thrilled with this fact. If it had been a night at Fidel during the summer, I would have been with 20 other Americans speaking English. Last night I spoke Russian probably 90% of the evening. Liza & Marianna came by.... Erin's friend Masha..... friends I've met through Ilana & Danya -- Kirill, Goga, Roma.... Will's girlfriend and my friend Olga.... and it was just such a good change. I felt like I've actually met people here, for real, not just through the program, not just "paid friends" (a.k.a. tutors). And we had a really good time, drinking Bochkarov and talking and later dancing to "classic rock night." And I was just really happy, and in a really good state of mind, and anyone who knows me knows that exactly a year ago that was not the case at all. Turning 20 really kind of sucked. Turning 21 was amazing. And never in a million years would I have thought that is how I would turn 21 years old.

Though, I am starting to feel kind of ancient. Especially when I realize things like one of my friend's Russian boyfriends was born in 1978.... the same year as Genny..... and people I hang out with now are anywhere between the ages of 17 and 32.... It makes me feel like I actually am starting to catch up with Genny, Chad, Sara and Mike, after spending 21 years chasing after their always older, always more glamorous lives. That's a weird feeling. It's odd when you start to realize how little age actually matters..... that's when you know you are getting old.....

But enough of that. I have to go take my СМИ exam now, and then I will be done with all my RSL classes for the semester. That's going to feel even better than last night.

So, in summary, thanks to everyone who made my 21st birthday really special, despite the anticlimactic nature of the event.

Faithful readers Abman & Vanessa, wish you two hadn't been in America for the occassion.

Two nights in a row at the Mariinsky.

Well, I am now officially done with 3/5 ths of my RSL crap, and to celebrate this I went to the theatre tonight.... and last night..... as a preemptive celebration.....

So, last night might have been the best one of my little "alone time" excursions I have taken so far in the past six months in this city. I found out that at the little Mariinsky theatre (the concert hall), they were showing the movie Battleship Potemkin, which we studied in my film class this semester, with the amazing, fabulous, flawless Mariinsky orchestra accompianing it live. So I was like hey, cool, it's how a silent movie was really supposed to be watched, and for 150 rubles (approximately $5) I was like yeah, why not, who cares that I have two exams the next morning, the movie is only 75 minutes long. And so I went by myself to this viewing, and I am so glad I did.

Okay, not only was that how a silent film was really supposed to be watched, but how a silent film NEEDS to be watched. Every silent film should be so lucky to have the Mariinsky orchestra playing its score live. I don't know, it just blew my mind. I'm always so impressed by ballet/opera orchestras in general because they have to work with five bajillion actors and dancers and singers and have to respond to their mistakes and all work together to make everything run smoothly.... but I think that accompianing a film must be even harder because the film can't adjust itself to your music.... you have to stay on top of your shit, and on top of their shit they are, that Mariinsky orchestra. It was so cool, there would be guys on the screens blowing horns and then, oh, hey look at the brass section tooting their own horns. And the sound was just overwhelming and made the movie so much more effective than listening to the crappy recorded score we heard from the video we watched in class.... I got chills at several key moments, felt quite patriotic and communist most of the time, and even was shaking my foot along to the music unaware of this tick until I noticed the woman on my right making fun of me to her friend.

Oh man, it was SO GOOD. Mom, I am so upset that this seems to be a one-time kind of thing, as part of a German film festival (makes no sense as Potemkin is a Russian film.... but according to future roommate Lauren Abman it was first aired in Germany before it was shown in Russia so they have a soft spot for it....... anyway, some German dude introduced the film with a translator and then the film was shown with German subtitles. it was kind of a trippy experience.... I kept thinking I was understanding the German guy when he was talking because it kind of sounded like mumbled English but didn't actually understand him and then got confused when the Russian translator woman would speak and I would actually understand her when it was a language that seems like I shouldn't understand it at all.... ANYWAY THIS IS A HUGE TANGENT AND BESIDE THE POINT), it was really an amazing experience and I wish they did that kind of thing more often. It was SO GOOD. I cannot emphasize this enough.

It was also cool to see something in the small Mariinsky, in the concert hall. I'd never been there before, and it's kind of ridiculous how it is the exact opposite of the old, real Mariinsky.... it is a brand new building, just finished over a year ago or something, the place still smells of plaster and new wood. Unlike the Mariinsky, it is quite modern in design, the inside wooden paneling and stuff for acoustics reminded me of Jewett at Wellesley or the concert hall at Longy.... only less 70s and not hideous. It is also a small, fairly intimate venue with amazing acoustics and really not a bad seat anywhere in the house.... though I got to sit in the second row with no one in front of me and a perfect view of the skinny string bean conductor and the cello section. Ahh, I miss the cello.

Speaking of missing the cello, the ballet I went to at the real Mariinsky tonight with Ilana, The Fountain of Bakhchisarai, had one of the most beautiful cello solos I have ever heard in my life. There is this long scene in the third? fourth? (I lost count) act where the kidnapped princess is getting ready for bed and her lady-in-waiting is helping her, and it is just one cello on its own for about ten minutes.... I almost started crying.... and then this solo builds as the crazy head wife of the sultan guy comes into the princess's room and then a piano joins in (MOM THERE WAS A PIANO IN THE ORCHESTRA TONIGHT!) and then the whole orchestra as the crazy wife tries to stab the princess -- which she ends up successfully doing as the beautiful yet dumb princess was like "oh let me hide with my face in my hands and my back perfectly exposed to knife wounds" -- and it was chilling. Swelling. Something. The composer isn't anyone even super famous, one Boris Asafiev, but it was so beautiful.

The ballet itself was also totally badass. There was this huge fight scene at the beginning with all this crazy choreographed sword fighting and dudes dying. At one point one guy jumped through two other guys -- all three holding swords -- and then spun around and started sparring with each other. It was so fucking cool. And then they all fell down and died all over the stage really dramatically and Ilana and I laughed and the bitchy woman next to us told us to be quiet and then at intermission asked, "Do you speak Russian? Are you aware you are at a play?" We were really tempted to answer, "What? No! We're at a play? Shit, how did we get here?!" but decided just to shrug off her off as just another grumpy old Russian woman with a touch of xenophobia.

Man. What a good decision going tonight. I don't know what I am going to do without Ilana next semester telling me which ballets to see. I never would have picked this one to go to -- "The Fountain of what? Give me Swan Lake or Romeo and Juliet or the Nutcracker..." -- but she told me it would be good and she was right. I told her she's going to have to keep reading the playbill for the Mariinsky while back in Chicago and tell me what to go see so she can live vicariously through me. Though, I have a secret. I think that actually you can see any ballet at the Mariinsky and it will be amazing. I really have not been disappointed by any of the ballets there yet (the opera of The Nose this summer was another story....). So I'm going to keep going, even after I lose my ballet-going buddy.

Anyway, that was all well and good. I have another exam tomorrow, and my last RSL one on Wednesday, and that will be beautiful when all that shit is out of the way. If I swing things right I will be done with everything by December 25th, and then I can go off on round #2 of Travels with Emma (for a week between Christmas and New Year's eve, this time the awesome Katy is joining us on our adventures) with everything over and done with. So. Yeah.

Also, in a side note, as it is past midnight in Russia, I guess I can now legally drink everywhere in the world except for those parts of India where the drinking age is 25 and all those Muslim countries were alcohol is just, you know, illegal. I'm so old. Just look at that. But not as old as Beethoven. If he were still alive celebrating his birthday he'd be 238 years old, while Jane Austen would only be 233, and the Boston Tea Party only happened 235 years ago. Look at that trivia.

Oh, and Katya and Stas just got home. Sorry guys, Katya beat everyone to it and was the first to wish me a happy birthday. Stas was second. They are on top of their stuff, those two.

Today is six months.

This morning I took my 184th self portrait for the project which I started exactly six months ago today.

See all 184 of them here.

What a weird feeling.

I go home in twenty-eight days. What a weirder feeling.

Booo-oooorinnng.

That's what you get when I've been sick. Dull reading material.

I made it out of the house to class yesterday, but had strict orders to return home immediately after to rest. So I did. And slept for 12 hours. That was nice.

But I am done with my RSL classes now, which is a good feeling.

I'm going to not do much of anything this weekend and rest more as next week is going to be insane..... here's a brief summary of everything that is going down starting Sunday night 12/14 and running through Saturday afternoon 12/20:

1. four RSL exams.
2. one performance of the Mariinsky orchestra.
3. one performance of the Mariinsky ballet.
4. a presentation in Bakhtin.
5. the installation of my photo project.
6. the opening of my photo project/small show.
7. my final printmaking class.
8. the awards lunch/good bye dinner thing.
9. my final film class.
10. my final Bakhtin class.
11. and my 21st birthday.

So. Get ready. This is the lull before the storm.

Blarrgghghhlkladdkllllllllllllllllllllll.................

My throat feels slightly better, I'm curled up in bed though, drinking tea and watching the 1988 movie The Heart of a Dog. It's so good! And beautiful! And sepia! I love it. The guy's calming smooth monotone voice that narrates the thoughts of the dog when he's still a dog is exactly how I heard it when reading the story.... and the film even quotes some older films, and has clips from older films in them that I understand thanks to film class. Oh, just look at those connections. At one point some of the characters go to see Mr. West in the Land of the Bolsheviks. Hey, hey!

Also, the dog who plays Sharik in the film looks exactly like the dog I photographed (twice) in Pskov....... and like every other stray dog in Russia...... see the comparison?

(the dog in Собачье сердце)

(the Pskov dog, fall 2008)

(the Pskov dog, summer 2008)

Ahh, this movie is so good. The novella by Bulgakov is so good. Bulgakov is so good. I love that man. I need to go back to Moscow just to make a pilgrimage to his grave and all the places in The Master and Margarita.

He's so attractive too, in that early-20th-century-Russian-writer kind of way:


Also, according to Wikipedia: "The Master and Margarita novel is said to have been read by Mick Jagger and influenced his writing of the song "Sympathy for the Devil". Just look at that!

And did you know there is a planet named after Bulgakov?

So, I am going to back to do curling up and doing nothing after this long pointless entry.

Bitch, bitch, moan, moan.

Finally, FINALLY, I get to whine for once.

After everyone and their mom has been bitching to me for weeks about all their difffficult lives, apparently I did a poor job at avoiding the throat infection and now I feel like hell.

HELL YOU HEAR!

Okay, well I'm done. But that felt pretty good.

As promised....

.... photos of Ilana from yesterday. There were 77 in total from the shoot, but these are my favorites:









These photos are now also up on my site, here (portfolio --> experiments --> studio work).

Hey hey heyyyy

A few photos up. Some Katy/Katie birthday party stuff. Some of me sitting around.

Nothing that exciting compared to the photos I took today though!

So, I don't think I have mentioned this yet, but I got this gig a few weeks ago through a Cool! English connection tutoring a Russian man in English. He's a friend of the editor of the magazine, and the reason I got the job is because we have a common interest in photography. See, this man, who shall remain nameless in this entry, is a fairly well-known photographer of fashion and..... Playboy and Maxim. Both the Russian versions and the American versions. Another English-speaking individual, who shall also remain nameless, was extremely jealous to hear of this job, saying he only gets neurotic business people while I get to tutor a "god among men." Ha. But this photographer guy is hilarious and a vegetarian and into yoga, and is clearly a pretty good photographer to be hired by such big name magazines both here and abroad. So, he knows his stuff and, not only does he pay me just to chat with him in my mother tongue for two hours, but he also agreed to show me some photography stuff. Today he taught me about professional lighting techniques, and, as Ilana agreed to model, timing action shots of ballet jumps in the air and such. It was a great time, actually and, once I get the disc of photos back from Ilana, I'll put some up here from the shoot.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, even though he usually photographs women in bikinis on the beach, Ilana is fully clothed in all the photos. Sorry to disappoint any of you creeps out there.

Well, I tried to keep up the pattern.

But failed. Emma and I started watching 40 Year Old Virgin on Friday night, but fell asleep in the middle of it due to the fact it was 3-something-am and we were tired after the Katies birthday party in the dorm and lots of life talking in everyone's favorite Irish Café Bar with the badass waitress. Well, at least we tried.

Last night there was not even an effort to watch a movie. I went to a concert at Mod instead with Ilana, Emma, Zach and Vanessa which was a lot of fun.... you wouldn't really expect it but the Russian hipster crowd is really into reggae-sounding bands that seem like they are from the No Doubt "Tragic Kingdom" era. And dreadlocks. I don't think I'd seen so many white kids with dreadlocks until I came to Russia. It was fun though.

And tonight we had an excursion to go see a play, "Дневники нечестного человек" (translated as: "The Diary of a Scoundrel") by Alexandr Ostrovsky at a small little artsy theatre called Ostrov near the Petrogradskaya metro station. As a dialogue-heavy play, I was generally, vaguely confused the whole time and understood about, oh 70% of it, especially as it is one of those plays with a bunch of main characters all connected to each other in some random subtle way, the kind of storyline I often have trouble following in English, let alone Russian, but the actors were all so good and engaging that I still found I was interested the whole time even if I didn't always get what was going on. Also, the parts that I did understand were really funny, so it was an enjoyable experience in the end.

So, yeah. Fucked up the pattern. Oh well. It was worth it.

Other exciting things from the past few days:

As Jonathan Platt's class is technically called "Bakhtin for Practicing Artists," the final project in the class is to present a piece of our own art and analyze it from a Bakhtinian perspective. So I was planning on showing some of my photo projects, the self portrait project in particular, and talking about the author/hero relationship, yadda yadda yadda whatever. But Jonathan chatted with his wife Emily, who was wanting me to have a show in the Open Studio Gallery space already, and suggested I install a small photo show there to present my art to everyone before my presentation in class on Friday the 19th. Basically, I'm using this class as an excuse to finalize a piece of my work and have a show. And I'm really excited about it. SO for all of you who are in the area who read this..... meaning Vanessa and Abman, though I think Abman will be in America at this point, which is sucky..... I'm installing the show on Wednesday night the 17th, and on Thursday night the 18th, circa 7:30pm or so, we're going to have a little opening reception (I'm going to buy cheap wine and cheese) and Aaron, the master student in the Bakhtin class, is going to do his piece of performance art and then you can admire 184 photographs of me taped to a wall. It'll be great. I hope. We'll see.

Speaking of art, I had printmaking for a really long time on Saturday, due to our lack of it last week because Friday was Yuri's 50th birthday and so he hungover and/or still drunk on Saturday and canceled class. We finished our metal engraving prints though, and it might be my favorite technique. I love how finely you can draw in the laquer with a needle and then the acid just burns it all away in just the right small spots. I also enjoyed adding tone to the print using resin and more acid. It's a really cool process and I'm a big fan. I might do my final project using that technique next semester....

And I only have two more weeks of classes and exams, which feels pretty good. I'm really looking forward to this break as it will be the longest I have gone without being in class since..... last January.... I've basically been in school for a full calendar year, with only two brief breaks in June and then in August. It's time.

An interesting statistic:

I watched a different movie every night this week.

Okay, maybe this fact isn't so interesting to you, but it's interesting to me as it is probably the biggest highlight of this week since this week mostly just involved staying in and sitting on my bed and focusing on not getting strep throat like everyone and their mom (our СМИ teacher also has strep now! we didn't have class yesterday! we're killing off all the RSL professors!).....

SUNDAY: The 10th Victim (for the fabulous fashion)
MONDAY: House of Wax (for the "scary" 3d effects)
TUESDAY: Man of Marble (for film class)
WEDNESDAY: Rushmore (for the 813th time and for Bakhtin class, actually)
TONIGHT: Daisies (in film class itself)

So, I really liked Daisies. Not everyone agreed with me. It's an insane, avant-garde, Dadaist film without a plot that is too artsy for its own good, but it's also kind of funny. And really visually appealing. And it involved a long, really interesting conversation in class about what makes a film feminist or not.... just putting a woman in a typically male role (ex: Kill Bill) doesn't necessarily make it feminist... does a feminist film have to have a female director to have an accurate female perspective (ex: Themla & Louise).... when a woman becomes an agent but because men made her that way (ex: Monster) is she still really a woman....? Emma, Lauren and I came to the conclusion after class that a highly feminist film and, perhaps the best film of all time, would definitely be A League of Their Own. There's no crying in baseball. Hell yes. But it was an interesting conversation, made me feel like I was back at good ol' Wellesley College for Women who Will again.... someone even used the phrase "heteronormative" and I felt right at home. Mm.

Oh, and speaking of Wellesley College... SUCK ON THIS, JANNA.

So that's it for now. Maybe I'll try to keep up this movie watching pattern all weekend. I mean, I did take out The Heart of a Dog from the 416 Office lending library....

Mmmm still in bed when I'd normally already be getting out of class....

And I updated photos!

We have pictures of snow and Thanksgiving, starting on page 5 of the digital fall in Russia gallery, plus about a week of new self-portraits.

Look at that shit.

You have to love Ludmilia Petrovna...

.... but you also have to love when she gets strep throat and you don't have class tomorrowwww!

Watch me get strep now as payback. My throat already itches vaguely out of guilt.

But yes! Sleeping in! Updating photos instead of grammar! Beautiful!

In other news, I watched House of Wax this evening. Talk about a ridiculous film. And it wasn't even the ridiculous remake with Paris Hilton. I can't even comprehend how ridiculous that film must be.

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S.

And, yes, that is how you spell that word. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people spell it "rediculous."

ANYWAY now I'm just rambling because I can because I can sleep in tomorrow hurrahhhh.

The long-awaited entry about Thanksgiving.... in Russia....

And it's already December. Just look at that. I'll be home in a month and ten days. I mean, a lot is going to happen between now and then.... exams, my birthday, New Year's, everyone from the semester leaving, Christmas.... I was nervous about this time of year coming up because I do so damn much with my family usually about now that I might start getting depressed about things, but Thanksgiving was such a success that maybe it won't be too bad... we'll see...

It really was a success. After all the freak outs about where to cook things and no one had purchased the turkey and all the drama about "I'm not going, no I'll go, no maybe I won't, no I'll come," it was great. I had so much fun I think because I kept myself busy. I went earlier in the day on Thursday to Bryan's to help with Claire, Matt & Zach set up and prepare things. I peeled carrots and rutabaga and washed dishes mainly, and listened to Bryan and Matt rehearse their little "entertainment" for the dinner.

I then went off to film class -- oh, how weird it is having class on actual Thanksgiving day -- which our professor was nice enough to start 40 minutes earlier than usual so we could get to the dinner on time.... except we watched Брат 2 (Brother 2) for our class on sequels and blockbuster films, and that is one hell of a long movie. It's also pretty bad, especially in comparison the original Брат (Brother) which is amazing. We didn't even take our break during our class, in hopes we would get out even earlier -- everyone was so antsy to get out of there and to the party, especially as the smells were killing us.... Laura had a big container of mashed potatoes on the desk next to her books, on the table behind us Danielle had a basket full of stuffing, Lauren had a bag of salad and Amy had a huge box of apple pie she made that must have weighed five pounds. Class went on and on and on -- it actually almost went to the normal time our class ends, 20 minutes over when we were supposed to get out, and our professor finally noticed how antsy we all were and said, "Ok, run!" And off we went.

It was sort of a production getting all of us and all this food to Bryan's via the metro. But we got there, somehow, to find Emily and Bryan trying to fix an issue with the turnips, and Emma desperately trying to whip some cream that just did not want to become fluffy. Claire and Pinski and the Katies were there already too, putting together deviled eggs and setting up the table. Claire had arranged my place cards and napkins just as I would have all around the table, though the purple asters I bought for the centerpiece had to get moved to the sideboard because there was just not enough room on the table because we had that much food.

In past years people apparently promise a lot more than they actually end up bringing, but this year everyone stuck to what they said they'd bring. Twenty out of the twenty five students on the program showed up, along with our three Russian tutors, a couple of guests from the dorms or classes, and former program participants such as Abman, Vanessa and Will. And everyone brought stuff. It was insane. When you think about it, telling everyone to bring one dish big enough to feed thirty people means that everyone has to eat the equivilent of one whole dish.... it was a sort of motley collection of foods as everyone has their own ideas about what is traditional Thanksgiving food as every family does it differently (I did not bring any ravioli and sauce, alas), but it was also kind of nice in a way.... you know, more pilgrim-y.... everyone bring their own idea of it... okay, this is getting to sappy. Anyway, amongst some of the foods that were represented (and the people who made them): corn bread & real bread (Zach), mashed pumpkin (Bryan), butternut squash (Matt), salad (Lauren), mashed potatoes (Laura T), peas & carrots (Bryan), green beans (Eric), deviled eggs (Katy), applesauce (Katy & someone else I forget), the most amazing corn pudding in the world (Ilana), less delicious canned corn (Bryan), one turkey and two chickens (Laura H), cranberry sauce (Bryan), biscuits (Claire), turnips & rutabaga that went kind of badly (Bryan & Emily), stuffing (Danielle), vegetarian stuffing (Bryan).... and that was just the stuff that made it to my end of the hugely long table.

I could only find fairly small-ish plastic plates for us to eat off of, so it was one of those decieving meals where you feel as if you are not eating that much because you're eating only a small plateful.... but then Emma keeps throwing more corn pudding onto your dish and you keep going and going and going until everyone was vaguely ill. At this point Ilana and Danya started opening and pouring out the bottles of Sovietskoe Champagne that people brought, and Bryan and Matt put on their little show which consisted of their renditions of three songs on the guitar: the Muppet Babies themesong (not really sure how that one came about, started as a joke and became a reality, I even had a small role as the mysterious nanny whose face you never see), Vlad and Boris's Song for Sarah Palin (there was even a telescope made from the thing that the wrapping paper comes on), and, finally, with Zach's help, a version of "Victoria" by the Kinks, re-written in Russian about Smolny, RSL and our three tutors. Don't worry, this was all recorded by multiple cameras and will probably be on the internet in the near future.

That gave us enough time to digest for dessert... Emily hit it on the head when she described the mindset of everyone as "no one every makes pies, so I'll make a pie." We had no less than ten pies at this event. There was something like six apple pies, two pumpkin pies and two Jackon pies (this kind of pie that Ilana made that is basically a chocolate chip and nut cookie in pie form)... there was fruit salad too, though no whipped cream (Emma tried her hardest but to no success), and everyone ate so damn much that one girl (who will remain nameless) actually ate herself sick and almost vomitted on the metro and nearly had to miss class on Friday because of it. Ah, yes, that's the spirit of Thanksgiving....

After that the night wound down and some people went home earlier than others and some of us helped clean up a bit and Bryan's neighbors weren't even really upset about the noise..... well, not that upset.... I got home late feeling content, full, and happy. It was a good feeling. And the next day the festivities continued in a way with a group of us (Laura T, Liza, Eric, Ilana and I) went back to help Bryan clean up the disaster zone that was his apartment and kitchen and eat some of the leftovers. As my first Thanksgiving without my family, I would say it definitely was better than expected. Oh, and not to fear, I took something like 200+ pictures I have to sort through. Here's a preview though, so you can get an idea of the atmosphere:


And so that was my Thanksgiving. This weekend afterwards just involved recovering from it, pretty much. A lot of sleeping. A lot of movie-watching. General recovery. It was really nice though. Really nice. It could have been a disaster, but it was actually great. I can't wait to look through all my photos and relive the night.