The entry about Kiev.

Finally.

FIRST, some general impressions: Ukraine is a really weird hybrid of both Russia and Europe, much more so than the Baltics were. Lativa and Estonia now seem just purely European after being in Ukraine. It's strange though, because Ukraine will have these gorgeous, beautiful European-style buildings -- many more so than St. Petersburg -- right across the street from modern, grungy Soviet architecture. Generally, as well, the streets appeared to be cleaner, fewer people were to be drunk, and Ukrainians seemed to be Russians in a perpetually good mood. It was absolutely freezing the entire time we were there -- significantly colder than St. Petersburg, it snowed every single day, there was constant icy wind, and none of us brought warm enough clothes because we'd stupidly thought "ohhh, we're going down south, it should be warmer..." -- but no one seemed to care. We actually saw a man all dressed up in a business suit, right down to his shiny black dress shoes, sliding a few feet and then stopping and sliding a few more feet along in the slush, just like a happy little kid experiencing the first snow of the winter. Also, Kiev is the slipperiest city I have ever experienced. Yes, St. Petersburg can get pretty bad but Kiev seems to be entirely paved with these big square tiles right out of a bathroom, just waiting to break an 80 year old woman's hip, or this beautiful but deadly yellow-blonde brick that became uncomparably slippery in the snow. We had a lot of close calls, but as Emma realized the other night, none of us ever slipped and fell the entire time we were there.

So, our trip.

We left on THURSDAY 12/25/08, Christmas day, at 1pm on a train for Moscow. This was the first time I had ever taken a train riding in just a seat for eight hours. It was actually significantly more comfortable than I anticipated, but oddly like an airplane which confused me at times in my exhausted state after being up so late the night before. There were a lot of good subjects for people-watching though, including one young girl to our left that looked like Kirsten Dunst out of Little Women who had a plastic box with holes in the top on her lap that she held so carefully it clearly contained something alive. Emma and I wanted to know ever so badly what kind of animal was in that box, and only at the end of the trip when we were almost in Moscow did we see that it was a little orange hamster. We arrived in Moscow around 9pm, with just the perfect amount of time to get ourselves around half the circle line to Kievskii Vokzal for our 11pm train to Kiev. Even just those few hours in Moscow were enough for me to be reminded about my St. Petersburg preference. One of the first things we saw entering the metro was a homeless man lying on the steps to the underground of the metro -- probably dead -- with his stay dog curled up protectively beside him. You see those kinds of things in St. Petersburg too, but always more so in Moscow and the city just leaves me feeling kind of sad a lot of the time. Merry Christmas. But we got to the train station, boarded our train without event, and spent the remaining part of our weird Christmas day in our own private compartment.

We crossed the border early in the morning on FRIDAY 12/26/08, and by the time we got to our hostel and were checked in it was past noon, over twenty-four hours later exactly (factoring in the one-hour time difference). The hostel we were staying at -- the TIU ("This Is Ukraine") Kiev Backpackers hostel -- I had picked almost at random off of good, ol' hostelworld.com. It had good reviews, was the right price, was close to the center, and we could make food there in the kitchen. It seemed like it'd be a fine place to live for four nights. Well, it was love at first sight with our hostel. We hadn't realized it would be a fucking GREAT place to live for four nights. We felt at home immediately -- the hostel is small and cozy, feels more just like staying at your friend's apartment -- but also fastidiously clean. The bedroom was carpeted with what looked like brand new white carpet, and the kitchen was spotless. When we arrived, the two British men who own the hostel, plus the German and the American major who live there semi-permanently were celebrating St. Stephen's Day. Apparently they'd had a big Christmas celebration the day before, and we "just trying to get rid of" the rest of the champagne left over. "We don't do this ever day, really," as they made each of us a mimosa to welcome us to the hotel. All four of them though were extremely helpful and welcoming immediately -- suggesting walking routes for us that would let us see some big sites and also becoming protective and father-figure-like, warning us about the one Spanish guy staying at the hostel who was known to be a little creepy, and that no matter the time of day or night we should get them if anything made us uncomfortable.

After becoming settled in the hostel, we went for a little walk to orient ourselves. This is first when we discovered it was fucking unbelievably freezing, and we actually had to stop and buy Katy socks along the way and go into a coffee house so she could put them on. We walked along the big main street of the city, Kreshatik, and up towards Independence Square where the Orange Revolution took place. Independence Square was all done up for New Year's, with a big decorated tree and also about fifty guys in Santa costumes roaming the streets, aggressively pursuing us for photographs. As I say, there is nothing scarier than an aggressive Santa. There were also ponies and clowns and balloons and shit like that, and we all felt vaguely like we were in some weird dream sequence. We also walked through the square and up towards St. Sophia's Cathedral, known to be one of the oldest Orthodox churches in Ukraine and maybe also in Russia, I forget. As we were cold we just paid admission to walk along the grounds, which were snowy and silent and calm but also beautifully lit up at night.

We got ourselves back to the hostel after that and warmed up for a while -- oh my god the showers they had there were amazing -- just in time for the German, who is now apparently the resident social director of the hostel, to inform us that they were going to be making an excursion to the bar down the street -- you know, just to celebrate St. Stephen's Day -- and we were invited. So we tagged along to this unmarked, unlabeled, impossible to find unless someone tells you about it, basement bar, that they refer to as "the Doctor's" or "Hospital Bar." This is due to the fact -- get this, Genny, man I wish you could see this place -- that the entire bar is medically themed. The bartenders wear bright blue scrubs with stethescopes around their necks, the waitresses are all dressed up as nurses (though, of course, vaguely slutty nurses), and they serve shots in either syringes or in those thin, tall chemistry vials. And, of course, it is insanely clean, just like a hospital. Seriously, after months of seedy Russian bars, this one was spotless, plus you can get a beer for 10 uah which (with Ukraine's insane currency that fluctuates daily -- when we first arrived it was 7uah to the $1, by the time we left it was 8uah/$1) is just over $1. And, who would have thought, the food there is amazing and, like the beer, cheap. So, we had an excellent excursion, and made a point to return to this bar two out of our three remaining nights in Kiev.

On SATURDAY 12/27/08 we returned to St. Sophia's, this time to go into the church itself and to check out the view from the top of the bell tower. I am sick to death of going inside of churches, usually, as I feel like that is all we do on excursions here sometimes, but I think when you choose to go into the church yourself it is different. St. Sophia's is absolutely beautiful, and so, so old with winding stairs and nooks and things. I also really liked the mural-painting there, because there was something that felt more authentic and orthodox about it than many of the churches in St. Petersburg that are trying so hard to imitate churches in other countries. As for the bell tower, I counted 208 steps on the way up and 207 on the way down, so I screwed up somewhere in there, but the view was magnificent and I took about 50 pictures just up there. The only awful part of that was the entire damn tower was lined with those stupid yellow tiles that are slippery as hell, so we had to go very very slowly and very very carefully.

We walked further up north in the city, along one of the oldest roads in Kiev, which is winding and along the side of a hill and full of these vendors selling beautiful arts and crafts -- not just the same old junky matroshkas -- and we all agreed to return to this street later when we weren't rushing to get to the Chornobyl museum before it closed (even though earlier we all had also agreed not to spend a lot of money on this trip, oops). We finally did find the Chornobyl museum, and we were, well, not disappointed exactly, but mostly just confused. Most things in the museum were not labeled, so they'd have a journal in a class case and you were expected to know what it was exactly. Also, the things that were labeled were often just labeled in Ukrainian, which we could kind of figure out with our Russian, but not exactly. In the final room as well they did one of those strange artistic interpretations of the disaster, with mood lighting and a pile of stuffed animals to represent all the children who had cancer or something. But the general effect of the museum was daunting, and I left feeling fairly depressed with mankind, which I guess means the museum achieved its goal.

At this point some nuitrition was in order, so we checked out a chain of Ukrainian fast food restaurants -- Пузата Хата ("Puzata Hata") -- recommended by another British guy staying at the hostel. This was not quite fast food as you're imagining it -- fast as in it was prepared quickly, but that was the only thing fast foody about it. You walk into the place and it is a cafeteria-style restaurant decorated to look like you are outside in a courtyard or something -- it was actually the first place we'd seen with Christmas/New Year's decorations that did not flash or blink and were not neon -- and you get into line and go along and take whatever food you want and then go pay, but the food that they have are delicious, healthy little things like bowls of borsch or blini with tvorog or all different kinds of salad..... we went a little nutso (and for whatever reason food is priced so reasonably in Kiev at the moment) and had a good, long snack.... meal.....

We then decided we were too cold to walk all the way back to the hostel, so we decided to experience the Kiev metro. Ha. HA. After the Russian metro systems, after just the other day riding on the Moscow metro which is known to be perhaps one of the best metros in the entire world, the Kiev metro is a hilarious little joke. It works fine and we used it several time afterwards to get to where we needed to be, but it's so tiny! And the metro tokens are made of big circles of blue plastic like Candy Land game pieces! And the stations themselves are just kind of odd with really silly advertising designs, such as wallpaper with a pattern of peanuts and "SNICKERS" all over it, or the columns on the metro platform wrapped in huge blue paper advertising some mobile phone provider. Just really kind of........ ridiculous, after such serious Russian metro systems. Ha. It was warm though, and that was what we found important at the moment.

We ended our night with a return to the Hospital, this time to try their mozzerella sticks.... which were small spheres of cheese and ketchup, kind of strange.... and watched European boxing and this guy from Morocco kick the shit out of this other guy who ended up winning because the Moroccian was too vicious.

Our SUNDAY 12/28/08 was oddly similar to our Saturday, as we walked back to the same area with the old winding road and the Пузата Хата where we'd been the day before. We went and checked out one of the newest orthodox churches on the way -- St. Michael's -- which just finished undergoing renovation in 2004. In a lot of ways the church was very similar to St. Sophia's, just a little brighter, a little shinier, a little newer, but it was also in operation as opposed to just being a museum, and so when we went inside there were priests chanting and incense burning and there was a great calming effect. Maybe I'll convert to Russian orthodox. Ha. After that we went back to that street and bought a lot of artsy shit. But what was cooler than the stuff we found was the people selling it..... they were actually interested in having conversations with us.... I bought this woven belt that I am going to use as a camera strap from a woman who wanted to know all about our studying in St. Petersburg and if we preferred Kiev to St. Petersburg and how it is more спокойный (meaning "calm" or "not worried" bu doesn't really translate that exactly) in Kiev. There was also this married couple that all three of us were obsessed with -- Emma and I bought matching little leather wallets that the man makes himself and Katy bought this beautiful Reeses-peanut-butter-cup-colored sweater made by the woman. The woman actually went with Katy to a random stairwell to let her try on the sweater before she bought it, and the man gave Emma and I lucky coins in the wallet. People were just so fucking FRIENDLY. It kind of blew our minds.

We then repeated our Saturday exactly, going back to eat at Пузата Хата and taking the metro again, but this time we got off at the Kreshatik stop, and walked along the street again because we'd heard they close the entire road, not just on special occassions, but every single weekend. I think that was the happiest I've seen anyone in Ukraine, it was just so cheerful and Christmasy and everyone is running around in the street and kids are waving balloons.... there was a band playing of these kind of skeezy dudes with pony tails and sunglasses and santa hats who were playing music from Бриллиантовая рука. They looked like the kind of guys who would be really into jazz. Or really like the Eagles. I actually thought this to myself, and then as we walked further down Kreshatik, they started playing "Hotel California." Yes, Puppy, I was all the way in Kiev, Ukraine, and it was just like being at good old Andersen Insurance.

On our walk home, we also wove our way through the Botanical gardens. We didn't stray too far from the path as it was dark by this point and a little too quiet and eerie with all the snow, but it was so beautiful. But it was great because there were all these little kids running around with sleds in the gardens, even though it was 8pm at night, going down hills and almost crashing into trees and seeming to be generally quite content. When we finally got ourselves home, we decided to spend the night in at the hostel. We cooked ourselves spaghetti and pasta sauce -- creatively made out of some tomato paste and peas and cucumber.... it would have been worse -- with a little champagne. We talked for a while with a new guest at the hostel -- a woman from Hungary whose English wasn't great, but who also studied in St. Petersburg for a semester several years ago, and so we all talked together in Russian for a while. It was funny listening to our exchange -- none of us native Russian speakers, but that being our only common language -- and comparing it to the German and the Ukrainian girlfriend of one of the owners of the hostel speaking in English.... it's funny to see what languages people use to communicate, without any regard to the languages they grew up speaking.... And then we took advantage of the fact that the hostel had a gorgeous TV and we watched some shows in (gasp) ENGLISH?? We watched Animal Planet and Discovery Channel.... my god, talk about a vacation. And then we put on a movie which was, none other, than In Bruges, the film I have been trying to get Emma to see since June, which I had just quoted the other day when we were walking up to the top of St. Sophia's bell tower: "I mean, it's all winding stairs. I'm not being funny."

We ended our night by watching youtube videos of funny commercials with the German. He showed us this one and Emma showed us this one and this one.

MONDAY 12/29/08 was our last full day in Kiev, and we spent it at the Caves Monastery towards the south of the city. We first followed some advice of the American major and took the metro one stop further out, where the metro becomes above-ground, to check out a beautiful view of the skyline of the city, complete with all the war monuments, the monastery, and the giant statue of Rodina Mat. Once back at the monastery, the first thing on our list of things to do there was check out the exhibit of microminiatures in one of the museums on the grounds. The monastery is kind of a bizarre place -- as Katy said, it felt more like a carnival or something with all these weird attractions than a monastery -- and we had read in the guide book all about a flea wearing gold shoes and a chess set so small it fits on the head of a pin. This clearly we had to see before any religious kind of thing. We were not disappointed by the work of Mykola Syadristy, who definitely has the finest motor skills in the entire world. There was a portrait of Ernest Hemingway drawn on half of a pear seed! What!

The other, more traditional aspects of the monastery were also really interesting. We went through part of the caves there and saw the buried bodies of saints. It was an uncomfortable mix of tourists and religious pilgrims, and, as Emma said, we felt vaguely like imposters and got yelled at by a woman afterwards who asked us why we weren't wearing crosses or skirts or scarves (though our heads were covered). The woman didn't even work there, she was just one of those typical babushkii who take it upon themselves to be the authority and yell at you. Anyway, it didn't put a damper on our visit to the monastery because there were actually blue skies there for most of our time, which was exciting enough.

On our way home we stopped at a grocery store recommended to us by the German at the hostel, and we went kind of insane there buying food for the train. It was, perhaps, the most beautiful grocery store we had been in in a good long while and -- get this -- the people who work there bag your groceries for you.... what?? You still have to buy a bag, of course, which is a good thing, but.... service? Anyway, we got all kinds of fruit and good cereal for our long journey back, we then returned to the hostel to get ready for our last night out in Kiev.

We went out ot the Hospital bar one last time with both of the British owners, the Ukrainian girlfriend/manager of the hostel, the German, the American major and another few guests. As it was such a special occasion -- not really, it just happened to be free that night -- we got to sit in the "padded cell" booth of the Hospital. We had a grand old time on our final night out -- and we even tried this special alcohol called Becherovka which basically is like drinking a glass of Christmas. We tried to go out to the club down the street afterwards for a bit too -- the club named SORRY BABUSHKA, yes, Malina!! the club for which your radio show on WZLY is named!! -- but we'd forgotten it was Monday night so it was closed, and so we just ended up back at the hostel drinking more champagne ("We don't do this every night, really!") and telling dirty jokes. I got a couple new ones that I think Puppy will like, but I'll save them for when I'm home as delivery doesn't really work in blog-format.

And so on TUESDAY 12/30/08 we had to get up and leave Ukraine, bright and early. Our train was at 11:42am leaving from the station, and didn't get us in to Moscow until 3am on WEDNESDAY 12/31/08 when we had to have a seven hour lay over of sorts sitting in the train station, waiting for the metro to open, then waiting for our other train to be ready, and drinking a lot of tea. But we basically slept the whole time on both trains, and so we were good and ready for New Year's Eve, but you already heard about that.